Getting Started
THE ABCs OF A GREAT START (For Your Connection Group)
A. Preparing for your first meeting.
1. Call your group members this week. Don’t just leave a voice mail message.
At this stage, personal contact is critical.
2. Enlist someone to help you make the calls. Increased buy-in is important.
3. Ask each person to bring something (cokes, chips, etc.). This cements their
attendance. They’re much more likely to show if you’re depending on them.
4. When you call them your enthusiasm is very important. Get yourself ready to call.
B. First Meeting
1. Start your group off with an informal “meet and greet” session.
The agenda for this meeting is all about helping people feel relaxed and comfortable with the other members of their new group.
2. Make a map to your house and send this out a week ahead of time.
3. Call each person AGAIN a couple of days before the meeting to encourage them.
4. Have nametags and markers ready at the door. Arrange for an uninterrupted
session (i.e., childcare needs, food prepared in advance, etc.).
5. Discuss the group’s covenant. This is an important step. Don’t miss it. This can be done at the “meet and greet” or at the next meeting (when anyone new joins the group later the covenant should be reviewed).
6. Set a date and place for the next meeting before you dismiss.
C. Meeting Follow-up
1. Call or touch base with each person who attended the meeting to encourage them. This extra step helps them to continue to forge a relationship with you. Look for them at church. Any contact in between meetings will help cement them to their new group.
2. Call all of your new group members a couple days before your next meeting.
Don’t assume that they’ll remember. They need your encouragement.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Being a Good Listener
Overview | Questions | Tools | Evaluation | Next Steps
Overview
The apostle James is pretty clear about what our priorities should be when speaking and listening to others: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry" (James 1:19). This is especially true in a small-group setting. Whether we are leaders or members, facilitators or hosts, we all need to abide by that mandate.
Therefore, listening skills are a vital component of healthy and fruit-filled communities. The following resources can help those in your small-groups ministry improve their ability to listen well.
Questions
Whether improving your skills individually or training other people, use these discussion questions to introduce the topic of Listening Well.
* In your opinion, what are the main characteristics of a good listener? What characteristics or habits would disqualify someone from being a good listener?
* Who are some people in your life that you would categorize as good listeners? What is it like to be around them?
* When it comes to listening well, what do you find most difficult? Why?
* What comes naturally to you in terms of listening to others?
Tools
The resources below provide expert advice and practical tips for improving your skills as a listener (and the skills of others in your small-groups ministry). They have been divided into three stages to help you progress through the training at the pace you choose. Stage One contains basic tips for listening well. Stage Two addresses specific listening skills and situations. And Stage Three highlights our premium downloadable content, which offers the most in-depth look at the skill of listening well.
Stage One
1. Listening Repaired
Wisdom from the Book of Proverbs that can help you listen well
By Kathleen Miller
2. 10 Ways to Be a Better Listener
Follow these steps for greater understanding, attention, and empathy.
By Michael Mack
Stage Two
1. Hearing Aids for Small-Group Leaders
Why listening is such a valuable tool for those of us in charge
By Cathy Mogus
2. Good Questions Show Good Listening
Learn to understand people and help them understand themselves.
By Doug Self
3. Having a Good Cry
Learn to deal openly and honestly with strong emotions in your small group.
By Brooke B. Collison
4. Icebreaker: Gestures
Let members speak without saying a word.
By Tami Rudkin
5. Outreach Options: Glancing Behind the Mask
Give someone an opportunity to feel safe enough to take off his or her mask.
By Sue Skalicky
Stage Three
This resource is designed to improve listening skills for both small-group leaders and members. The articles provide training on basic listening skills and the ways in which those skills can be applied in a small-group setting.
The following handouts from Becoming a Great Listener are especially useful:
* Preparing to Listen, by Joel Comiskey—highlights three skills that allow us to make the most of every conversation.
* Self Awareness in Listening, by Emma J. Justes—helps us understand stereotypes and prejudices that can impede us from hearing others properly.
* What Are You Trying to Say? by Pat J. Sikora—a very useful chart for organizing and translating different methods of body language.
Evaluation
Am I Listening Well?
Use this interactive assessment to evaluate your own listening skills, or as a place to start the conversation when training others.
Next Steps
The following resources can further your ability to listen well.
Go Deeper with God
One of the ways we can improve our listening skills within a small group is to apply those skills to our relationship with God. In other words, quieting ourselves to listen for God's Spirit will bring us the dual benefit of helping us listen more closely to others in the group, as well.
Getting Along with People
This five-session course emphasizes that we need to love by both our words and actions. That requires giving our lives to God and learning to say no to things that don't fit into our priorities. It involves learning to communicate lovingly and showing gratitude to God and others.
Source: http://www.smallgroups.com/articles/smallgroupsindepth/listeningwell.html?start=2
Overview
The apostle James is pretty clear about what our priorities should be when speaking and listening to others: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry" (James 1:19). This is especially true in a small-group setting. Whether we are leaders or members, facilitators or hosts, we all need to abide by that mandate.
Therefore, listening skills are a vital component of healthy and fruit-filled communities. The following resources can help those in your small-groups ministry improve their ability to listen well.
Questions
Whether improving your skills individually or training other people, use these discussion questions to introduce the topic of Listening Well.
* In your opinion, what are the main characteristics of a good listener? What characteristics or habits would disqualify someone from being a good listener?
* Who are some people in your life that you would categorize as good listeners? What is it like to be around them?
* When it comes to listening well, what do you find most difficult? Why?
* What comes naturally to you in terms of listening to others?
Tools
The resources below provide expert advice and practical tips for improving your skills as a listener (and the skills of others in your small-groups ministry). They have been divided into three stages to help you progress through the training at the pace you choose. Stage One contains basic tips for listening well. Stage Two addresses specific listening skills and situations. And Stage Three highlights our premium downloadable content, which offers the most in-depth look at the skill of listening well.
Stage One
1. Listening Repaired
Wisdom from the Book of Proverbs that can help you listen well
By Kathleen Miller
2. 10 Ways to Be a Better Listener
Follow these steps for greater understanding, attention, and empathy.
By Michael Mack
Stage Two
1. Hearing Aids for Small-Group Leaders
Why listening is such a valuable tool for those of us in charge
By Cathy Mogus
2. Good Questions Show Good Listening
Learn to understand people and help them understand themselves.
By Doug Self
3. Having a Good Cry
Learn to deal openly and honestly with strong emotions in your small group.
By Brooke B. Collison
4. Icebreaker: Gestures
Let members speak without saying a word.
By Tami Rudkin
5. Outreach Options: Glancing Behind the Mask
Give someone an opportunity to feel safe enough to take off his or her mask.
By Sue Skalicky
Stage Three
This resource is designed to improve listening skills for both small-group leaders and members. The articles provide training on basic listening skills and the ways in which those skills can be applied in a small-group setting.
The following handouts from Becoming a Great Listener are especially useful:
* Preparing to Listen, by Joel Comiskey—highlights three skills that allow us to make the most of every conversation.
* Self Awareness in Listening, by Emma J. Justes—helps us understand stereotypes and prejudices that can impede us from hearing others properly.
* What Are You Trying to Say? by Pat J. Sikora—a very useful chart for organizing and translating different methods of body language.
Evaluation
Am I Listening Well?
Use this interactive assessment to evaluate your own listening skills, or as a place to start the conversation when training others.
Next Steps
The following resources can further your ability to listen well.
Go Deeper with God
One of the ways we can improve our listening skills within a small group is to apply those skills to our relationship with God. In other words, quieting ourselves to listen for God's Spirit will bring us the dual benefit of helping us listen more closely to others in the group, as well.
Getting Along with People
This five-session course emphasizes that we need to love by both our words and actions. That requires giving our lives to God and learning to say no to things that don't fit into our priorities. It involves learning to communicate lovingly and showing gratitude to God and others.
Source: http://www.smallgroups.com/articles/smallgroupsindepth/listeningwell.html?start=2
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Small Group Foundations
Here are some of the core elements of small group ministry:
* Life-on-life is the optimum environment for spiritual growth. I’ve often said that what happens in a worship service is closest in kind to a defibrillator. A great message and inspiring worship can jump start your heart spiritually, but it’s not permanent change. It’s temporary. As soon as you’re in the traffic jam on the way out of the parking lot you’re heart is back to where it was. What does bring change? Life on life. Surgery or therapy happens when the Holy Spirit uses relationships.
* The best delivery system for life-on-life is a small group. Will it work for everybody every time? No. But the easiest way to impact the most people is through small groups.
* Interaction is a key to life-change. Facilitated discussion leading to personal application combined with the support and nurture of shared lives leads to life-change.
* Every believer is the relative shepherd to someone (and in most circumstances a group of someones). The leader should be a step or two ahead of the ones he/she leads. I don’t have to be Jesus Junior. Only a step ahead.
* Groups have a life span. The normal life span of a group is about 18 to 24 meetings. Groups can meet much longer than that but barring the infusion of new blood and a very proactive leader, groups that continue to meet become more about fellowship and less about transformation.
* Providing life support for dying groups is counter-productive. When I proactively send new members to a dwindling group I am usually keeping alive something that needs something a few new members won’t provide. Better to build leaders and groups that are intentionally building new relationships outside the group.
* The easiest way to impact a community is through an ever growing network of outward looking groups. With the right curriculum and the right strategy…a church can impact the neighbors and friends of every member.
By Mark Howell
* Life-on-life is the optimum environment for spiritual growth. I’ve often said that what happens in a worship service is closest in kind to a defibrillator. A great message and inspiring worship can jump start your heart spiritually, but it’s not permanent change. It’s temporary. As soon as you’re in the traffic jam on the way out of the parking lot you’re heart is back to where it was. What does bring change? Life on life. Surgery or therapy happens when the Holy Spirit uses relationships.
* The best delivery system for life-on-life is a small group. Will it work for everybody every time? No. But the easiest way to impact the most people is through small groups.
* Interaction is a key to life-change. Facilitated discussion leading to personal application combined with the support and nurture of shared lives leads to life-change.
* Every believer is the relative shepherd to someone (and in most circumstances a group of someones). The leader should be a step or two ahead of the ones he/she leads. I don’t have to be Jesus Junior. Only a step ahead.
* Groups have a life span. The normal life span of a group is about 18 to 24 meetings. Groups can meet much longer than that but barring the infusion of new blood and a very proactive leader, groups that continue to meet become more about fellowship and less about transformation.
* Providing life support for dying groups is counter-productive. When I proactively send new members to a dwindling group I am usually keeping alive something that needs something a few new members won’t provide. Better to build leaders and groups that are intentionally building new relationships outside the group.
* The easiest way to impact a community is through an ever growing network of outward looking groups. With the right curriculum and the right strategy…a church can impact the neighbors and friends of every member.
By Mark Howell
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Ways to Find New Group Members
Who makes the best new members for your group? That’s easy. Unconnected people with whom you are actively building a relationship. Here are some ideas that will help you find new members:
1. Look for people who are already doing the same things you are. If your kids are in High School, make it a point to get to know other parents. If your kids are younger…make it a point to meet other parents as you check them into Sunday morning connect groups. Whether you’re in a bunko group, on a softball team, do scrapbooking, or regularly watch your kids’ little league games…be on the lookout for people who are already doing the same things that you are.
2. If you sit in the same area at the same service every week, you’ll often begin to notice some of the same people. Get in the habit of getting to know one or two new people every week. In the “say hello to a few people around you” part of the service…make it a point to remember their names. Write their name(s) down as soon as you sit down. As the service ends tell them you’ll see them next week.
3. Take a few minutes in your next meeting to talk about who your members know that would be a good fit in your group. Sometimes all you need is something to jog your memory.
4. Plan a social get-together (potluck, cookout, theme dinner, chili cookoff, etc.) and invite unconnected friends over. This is a great idea to schedule on a regular basis between studies. The perfect way to get to know a few new people.
5. Volunteer to serve the GBC 101 class. Think about it. Everyone at the class is taking a next step…the perfect time to join a small group.
6. Volunteer to serve as an usher or greeter. You’ll see a lot of the same people. Easy to be friendly and invite them to your group.
7. Volunteer to serve with…(see a pattern developing? almost any volunteer opportunity will put you in contact with unconnected people).
8. Make sure your group is absolutely, positively, up-to-date in the Small Group Finder on www.gladevillechurch.org
By: Mark Howell
1. Look for people who are already doing the same things you are. If your kids are in High School, make it a point to get to know other parents. If your kids are younger…make it a point to meet other parents as you check them into Sunday morning connect groups. Whether you’re in a bunko group, on a softball team, do scrapbooking, or regularly watch your kids’ little league games…be on the lookout for people who are already doing the same things that you are.
2. If you sit in the same area at the same service every week, you’ll often begin to notice some of the same people. Get in the habit of getting to know one or two new people every week. In the “say hello to a few people around you” part of the service…make it a point to remember their names. Write their name(s) down as soon as you sit down. As the service ends tell them you’ll see them next week.
3. Take a few minutes in your next meeting to talk about who your members know that would be a good fit in your group. Sometimes all you need is something to jog your memory.
4. Plan a social get-together (potluck, cookout, theme dinner, chili cookoff, etc.) and invite unconnected friends over. This is a great idea to schedule on a regular basis between studies. The perfect way to get to know a few new people.
5. Volunteer to serve the GBC 101 class. Think about it. Everyone at the class is taking a next step…the perfect time to join a small group.
6. Volunteer to serve as an usher or greeter. You’ll see a lot of the same people. Easy to be friendly and invite them to your group.
7. Volunteer to serve with…(see a pattern developing? almost any volunteer opportunity will put you in contact with unconnected people).
8. Make sure your group is absolutely, positively, up-to-date in the Small Group Finder on www.gladevillechurch.org
By: Mark Howell
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
What Does "Get Organized" Really Mean?
You are disorganized if you need something somewhere that you don't have or have something somewhere that you don't need. If you have a phone and discretionary time (and you want to be productive), you need to have easily viewable the complete list of every single phone call you need to make. Otherwise you don't have the information you need, in the format you need, to remind you of what you've agreed with yourself you need to be reminded of, when. If you are trying to prepare a lovely five-course dinner but the kitchen counters are still full of last night's dishes, you're not organized. There's stuff in the way that you don't need. In either case you're not organized—at least as much as you could be, from your own perspective.
An exercise I've done in my seminars is that I've had everyone reach into their purses or wallets and get something that doesn't belong there permanently and which has been there longer than a few hours (besides money). Almost all have at least one thing in that category—a receipt, a business card, a scrap of paper with scribbled notes, an old parking ticket. These are things whose location does not map to their meaning to the person who has them. If the item has no further usefulness, it is trash, but it's not in the trash. Often it is something they need to store somewhere else—it is reference, but it's not appropriately accessible as such. Sometimes it's something that they need to do something about, but it is not in a place to remind them to do it. There is lack of coherence between what the thing is and where it is.
Lots of folks contend that their "stacks" are what they want and that's the best way to be organized. But most piles that people have around them have a blended mixture of stuff to read (actions when they have time to read), stuff to store away that they want access to (reference), stuff to throw away (trash), and stuff they still need to decide what to do about (in-basket). The background stress from those constipated stacks generates a psychic callous—we stop noticing the piles, at least enough to really do something about them.
But, to be exact, with those stacks, you could conceivably be "organized." It's all relative—if you truly have decided that fifty pounds of miscellaneous paper material piled up all around your office is reflective of what it really means (these are all things that I just want to feel slightly pressured by but not actually do anything about, that I want to be able to find in a relatively short period of time, if I have to), then you're organized. As a matter of fact, you'd be disorganized if you actually changed anything about those stacks.
So, how does the meaning of something translate into organization? Pick up anything around you that you're wondering what to do with, and apply a simple set of formulae:
I don't need or want it = trash
I still need to decide what this means to me = In-basket item
I might need to know this information = reference
I use it = equipment and supplies
I like to see it = decoration
When I could possibly move on it, I want to see the action as an option = next action reminder, reviewed when and where it could be done
I need to be reminded of this short-term outcome I've committed to = project list item, reviewed weekly
I need to have this when I focus on a project = support material
I might want to commit to this at any time in the future = Someday/Maybe list item
I might want to commit to this on or after a specific time in the future = calendared or "tickled" item incubated for review on a specific future date
I want to achieve this "bigger" outcome = goals, objectives, visions that you review on some longer interval (a.k.a. your higher level Horizons of Focus)
It's something someone else is doing that I care about = item on Waiting-For list, reviewed at least weekly
I need to consider it when I do certain recurring activities = item on a checklist
Test these against anything you find lying around you in work or life that you think you need to know how to organize. Organizing tools should not be so mysterious—they are merely to support these various functions.
This is simple common sense. So why do so many people feel like they need to be more organized? Because most avoid deciding what so many things actually mean to them, which makes it impossible to know what to do with them. And what's even thornier is that even if they "get organized" according to these simple criteria, it is highly likely that they can become disorganized rapidly. Over time (and often not that much time) things change in meaning. The magazine is no longer the current issue, the project is no longer something we're committing to action, and the good idea isn't so good any more. So even if we get our ducks in a row, they wander off of their own accord. Being organized is a dynamic process, demanding consistent reevaluation, rethinking, and renegotiating the relevance of things in our physical and psychological environment.
We don't tell people how to get organized. We only assist them to marry what things mean to where they are. Simple, tricky business.
"We must strive to reach that simplicity that lies beyond sophistication."
-John Gardner
David Allen
http://www.davidco.com/newsletters/archive/0210b.html
An exercise I've done in my seminars is that I've had everyone reach into their purses or wallets and get something that doesn't belong there permanently and which has been there longer than a few hours (besides money). Almost all have at least one thing in that category—a receipt, a business card, a scrap of paper with scribbled notes, an old parking ticket. These are things whose location does not map to their meaning to the person who has them. If the item has no further usefulness, it is trash, but it's not in the trash. Often it is something they need to store somewhere else—it is reference, but it's not appropriately accessible as such. Sometimes it's something that they need to do something about, but it is not in a place to remind them to do it. There is lack of coherence between what the thing is and where it is.
Lots of folks contend that their "stacks" are what they want and that's the best way to be organized. But most piles that people have around them have a blended mixture of stuff to read (actions when they have time to read), stuff to store away that they want access to (reference), stuff to throw away (trash), and stuff they still need to decide what to do about (in-basket). The background stress from those constipated stacks generates a psychic callous—we stop noticing the piles, at least enough to really do something about them.
But, to be exact, with those stacks, you could conceivably be "organized." It's all relative—if you truly have decided that fifty pounds of miscellaneous paper material piled up all around your office is reflective of what it really means (these are all things that I just want to feel slightly pressured by but not actually do anything about, that I want to be able to find in a relatively short period of time, if I have to), then you're organized. As a matter of fact, you'd be disorganized if you actually changed anything about those stacks.
So, how does the meaning of something translate into organization? Pick up anything around you that you're wondering what to do with, and apply a simple set of formulae:
I don't need or want it = trash
I still need to decide what this means to me = In-basket item
I might need to know this information = reference
I use it = equipment and supplies
I like to see it = decoration
When I could possibly move on it, I want to see the action as an option = next action reminder, reviewed when and where it could be done
I need to be reminded of this short-term outcome I've committed to = project list item, reviewed weekly
I need to have this when I focus on a project = support material
I might want to commit to this at any time in the future = Someday/Maybe list item
I might want to commit to this on or after a specific time in the future = calendared or "tickled" item incubated for review on a specific future date
I want to achieve this "bigger" outcome = goals, objectives, visions that you review on some longer interval (a.k.a. your higher level Horizons of Focus)
It's something someone else is doing that I care about = item on Waiting-For list, reviewed at least weekly
I need to consider it when I do certain recurring activities = item on a checklist
Test these against anything you find lying around you in work or life that you think you need to know how to organize. Organizing tools should not be so mysterious—they are merely to support these various functions.
This is simple common sense. So why do so many people feel like they need to be more organized? Because most avoid deciding what so many things actually mean to them, which makes it impossible to know what to do with them. And what's even thornier is that even if they "get organized" according to these simple criteria, it is highly likely that they can become disorganized rapidly. Over time (and often not that much time) things change in meaning. The magazine is no longer the current issue, the project is no longer something we're committing to action, and the good idea isn't so good any more. So even if we get our ducks in a row, they wander off of their own accord. Being organized is a dynamic process, demanding consistent reevaluation, rethinking, and renegotiating the relevance of things in our physical and psychological environment.
We don't tell people how to get organized. We only assist them to marry what things mean to where they are. Simple, tricky business.
"We must strive to reach that simplicity that lies beyond sophistication."
-John Gardner
David Allen
http://www.davidco.com/newsletters/archive/0210b.html
Sunday, February 21, 2010
5 Reasons Why You Should Be in A Connect Group
1. To develop relationships with other people at GBC who can walk beside you in your journey as a Christ-follower.
2. To discover answers to life needs through Bible study, prayer and discussion.
3. To gain a deeper understanding of the Bible and its teachings.
4. To receive support in times of crisis or major life changes.
5. To make friends and have Fun!!!
2. To discover answers to life needs through Bible study, prayer and discussion.
3. To gain a deeper understanding of the Bible and its teachings.
4. To receive support in times of crisis or major life changes.
5. To make friends and have Fun!!!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A Refresher
At the Glade Church we have a very simple strategy for seeing people move toward life transformation. We simply ask that people 1) Come & Worship during one of our services. Then we ask that they 2) Connect & Grow in a small group. It may be a Sunday Morning Group, Lifequest Group, or Affinity group. We ask that people join a group and attend and make new friends. The third part is 3) Serve & Go. After people are apart of worship and a group, we want people to find a place of service. We offer numerous ministries from 1st Impressions to small group leadership and we want people to experience the joy of serving by ministering to others. The GO portion means serving as a team member on a mission trip either within the USA or internationally, You GO and do mission work. There are numerous trips each year as well as local mission projects. We currently are GOing to New Orleans, Birmingham, and Peru. We believe that if people will do these three simple things then they will see their lives transformed.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Radicalis
As I post this I am watching the Radicalis conference at Saddleback Church http://www.saddleback.com/webcast/radicalis/. Andy Stanley just spoke. The main thrust of his message was to bring all of your energy to your message for the day. Prepare and invision who will be in your audience. If you prepare then your message will be clear. If you speak too long then the message becomes me focused versus audience focused. Follow along on the webcast.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Blogs are great tools to keep communication current. They also allow for comments and links to other information, tools, etc. that may be beneficial to you and your small group here at the Glade Church.
You will notice a button at the bottom which says "RSS Subscribe." If you click this button, you can follow the directions and automatically be notified when there are new blog postings to this blog.All in all, we will be posting audio talks, videos, devotionals, events, information, sermon series, updates, etc., etc., to this blog so we hope this becomes a great tool for you to use as we all strive to be current in our communication.
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